Posted August 7, 2005
Well I guess I should start by saying
I am a 26-year-old married mom of 2 and a proud egg
I have been involved in donation for
almost a year now, and let me say when I first became
involved in it I never dreamed it would turn into what
it has. I never truly realized how many families were
going this route to be created. I have done 3 donations
fo far and 2 of them I know to be a success. I will
be beginning the injections for donation #4 in less
than two weeks. I love what I am doing and feel so fulfilled
to be able to help others create their futures...
My first donation was totally anonymous,
which is how I assumed all donations were, BOY was I
wrong! My 2nd donation started out anonymously but since
I was matched through a donor site, the rules were different.
By the time the IM achieved a pregnancy, she wanted
to know me, and asked the host of the donor site to
shoot me an email seeing if I would like some contact
with her... As scared as I was I said, "YES, of
course!" I mean I tried to put myself in her shoes...
Wouldn't I want to know all I could about the woman
who has helped me?? So we have been emailing each other
for months and I have truly fallen in love with this
family.. My third donation, was and still is anonymous,
however, the agency accidentally sent me the contact
information of the IP's. (This is the first time I have
admitted that.) I am not the type of person to use this
knowledge in any adverse way... I mean I would never
intrude on their lives and make them second guess what
has had to be the most painful choice of their life...
Nonetheless it is odd and troubling for me to have this
info unbeknownst to anyone, which brings me to my current
donation and the reason I am writing up my story. The
IM wants to have a phone converstion with me. Again
this started out anonymously, but seeing as I am open
with everyone as to having an "open donation"
for my second one, I guess it lets people know I am
willing to let them know me.
In the last year it has been IPs coming
to me for my help and now I feel I need to turn to other
intended parents for some help... I am scared of what
having so much contact with IM's means for the future.
I haven't had the nerve to ask the IM I correspond with
about this. Does it make sense that if there is a relationship
between us that the child will definitely know his or
I have an older child -- a ten year old
boy -- and he has no idea of what mommy is doing. Nor
does my 3 year old. Does having contact with IMs mean
I should tell my kids what I have been doing? I dont
think they will understand at this point. I also would
never want them to feel as if they lost out on a "sibling"
-- makes sense?
I actually feel so much better just getting
all this out!! I really think that donation is a wonderful
thing, and I love the feeling I get knowing how I have
helped others create their families. None of what I
have just written will stop me from wanting to donate
again. I just guess I want to know I am not alone in
being afraid of open donation.
Thanks for listening... with all the love
and respect in the world...
If anyone -- Intended Mothers / Intended
Parents / Egg Donors -- are interested in sharing a
similar experience, providing advice, or telling potential
egg donors what to expect, we would be happy to post
it on this site.
your experience here. (Forms can be submitted anonymously.)