Meg's Story Posted August 7, 2005 Well I guess I should start by saying I am a 26-year-old married mom of 2 and a proud egg donor. I have been involved in donation for almost a year now, and let me say when I first became involved in it I never dreamed it would turn into what it has. I never truly realized how many families were going this route to be created. I have done 3 donations fo far and 2 of them I know to be a success. I will be beginning the injections for donation #4 in less than two weeks. I love what I am doing and feel so fulfilled to be able to help others create their futures... My first donation was totally anonymous, which is how I assumed all donations were, BOY was I wrong! My 2nd donation started out anonymously but since I was matched through a donor site, the rules were different. By the time the IM achieved a pregnancy, she wanted to know me, and asked the host of the donor site to shoot me an email seeing if I would like some contact with her... As scared as I was I said, "YES, of course!" I mean I tried to put myself in her shoes... Wouldn't I want to know all I could about the woman who has helped me?? So we have been emailing each other for months and I have truly fallen in love with this family.. My third donation, was and still is anonymous, however, the agency accidentally sent me the contact information of the IP's. (This is the first time I have admitted that.) I am not the type of person to use this knowledge in any adverse way... I mean I would never intrude on their lives and make them second guess what has had to be the most painful choice of their life... Nonetheless it is odd and troubling for me to have this info unbeknownst to anyone, which brings me to my current donation and the reason I am writing up my story. The IM wants to have a phone converstion with me. Again this started out anonymously, but seeing as I am open with everyone as to having an "open donation" for my second one, I guess it lets people know I am willing to let them know me. In the last year it has been IPs coming to me for my help and now I feel I need to turn to other intended parents for some help... I am scared of what having so much contact with IM's means for the future. I haven't had the nerve to ask the IM I correspond with about this. Does it make sense that if there is a relationship between us that the child will definitely know his or her origin? I have an older child -- a ten year old boy -- and he has no idea of what mommy is doing. Nor does my 3 year old. Does having contact with IMs mean I should tell my kids what I have been doing? I dont think they will understand at this point. I also would never want them to feel as if they lost out on a "sibling" -- makes sense? I actually feel so much better just getting all this out!! I really think that donation is a wonderful thing, and I love the feeling I get knowing how I have helped others create their families. None of what I have just written will stop me from wanting to donate again. I just guess I want to know I am not alone in being afraid of open donation. Thanks for listening... with all the love and respect in the world... --- If anyone -- Intended Mothers / Intended Parents / Egg Donors -- are interested in sharing a similar experience, providing advice, or telling potential egg donors what to expect, we would be happy to post it on this site. Share your experience here. (Forms can be submitted anonymously.)