Posted Sept. 13, 2005 - Updated
Jan. 11, 2007
My wife and I had been married for a year,
and trying to get pregnant from day one, when we decided
to get tested. She, luckily, was fine, but my tests
showed low sperm count and motility issues. My doctor
said we could probably try IVF
or IUI, but when
we went back for the 2nd test, the results were worse,
and we were told they didn't think my sperm were suitable
We decided to try Donor
Insemination for a variety of reasons. We could
do it without putting my wife on all sorts of medications,
and having her go through such an invasive procedure.
From our research, the results were at least as good
with a 4-6 month IUI program as with doing an IVF cycle.
And of course, the cost - we could afford to try IUI
for a while, and then still do an IVF if we wanted.
But if we did an IVF and it wasn't successful, we couldn't
afford to do anything else.
We were very fortunate in that it only
took us two tries, and my wife is now 25 weeks along
with a little baby girl!
For the most part, I have always looked
at it this way - my wife and I are having a baby, just
with a little help. I feel like the father, and I'm
sure that will continue after she is born. Most of our
friends and family know what we are going through, which
helps, too, because I can talk about it openly. There's
a small part of me that, at first, was disappointed
that we had to do it, but that is totally separate from
the joy of seeing my wife carrying our child, and the
anticipation of our beautiful baby girl being born.
I know everyone is different, but for
me, and for my wife and I, we knew this was the right
way to go, and haven't regretted a moment of it. I know
I am going to be a father, and my daughter will know
how much I love her.
We plan on letting her know as much as
she can understand as soon as possible, so she grows
up with this information and considers it a normal part
of her life. I am a little nervous, perhaps, about the
inevitable questions about her donor (I hesitate to
use "dad" or "father", even with
biological in front of it). We have kept all the information
about her donor, and will support her curiosity in any
way we can.
On Dec. 23rd, at 10:09pm, my wife and
I became the happiest people on earth when our 6lb,
14oz. daughter was born!! It was an amazing experience,
and I will be forever grateful to the man who donated
his sperm to us, and the doctors and technology that
made such a beautiful thing possible!
Update from Jan 11, 2007
This is just a reminder for everyone to
keep up hope! My wife and I just found out that she
was pregnant again, this time the "natural"
way. I guess we're living proof it only takes one :-)
My daughter born through DI recently had her 1st birthday,
and she is beautiful and amazing and we are the luckiest
parents in the world! We have been in contact with the
parents of other children born from this same donor,
and it has proven useful and interesting, though we
have to be careful how much we tell some of them.