Jim's Story
Posted Sept. 13, 2005 - Updated Jan. 11, 2007

My wife and I had been married for a year, and trying to get pregnant from day one, when we decided to get tested. She, luckily, was fine, but my tests showed low sperm count and motility issues. My doctor said we could probably try IVF or IUI, but when we went back for the 2nd test, the results were worse, and we were told they didn't think my sperm were suitable for IUI.

We decided to try Donor Insemination for a variety of reasons. We could do it without putting my wife on all sorts of medications, and having her go through such an invasive procedure. From our research, the results were at least as good with a 4-6 month IUI program as with doing an IVF cycle. And of course, the cost - we could afford to try IUI for a while, and then still do an IVF if we wanted. But if we did an IVF and it wasn't successful, we couldn't afford to do anything else.

We were very fortunate in that it only took us two tries, and my wife is now 25 weeks along with a little baby girl!

For the most part, I have always looked at it this way - my wife and I are having a baby, just with a little help. I feel like the father, and I'm sure that will continue after she is born. Most of our friends and family know what we are going through, which helps, too, because I can talk about it openly. There's a small part of me that, at first, was disappointed that we had to do it, but that is totally separate from the joy of seeing my wife carrying our child, and the anticipation of our beautiful baby girl being born.

I know everyone is different, but for me, and for my wife and I, we knew this was the right way to go, and haven't regretted a moment of it. I know I am going to be a father, and my daughter will know how much I love her.

We plan on letting her know as much as she can understand as soon as possible, so she grows up with this information and considers it a normal part of her life. I am a little nervous, perhaps, about the inevitable questions about her donor (I hesitate to use "dad" or "father", even with biological in front of it). We have kept all the information about her donor, and will support her curiosity in any way we can.

Update:

On Dec. 23rd, at 10:09pm, my wife and I became the happiest people on earth when our 6lb, 14oz. daughter was born!! It was an amazing experience, and I will be forever grateful to the man who donated his sperm to us, and the doctors and technology that made such a beautiful thing possible!

Update from Jan 11, 2007

This is just a reminder for everyone to keep up hope! My wife and I just found out that she was pregnant again, this time the "natural" way. I guess we're living proof it only takes one :-)

My daughter born through DI recently had her 1st birthday, and she is beautiful and amazing and we are the luckiest parents in the world! We have been in contact with the parents of other children born from this same donor, and it has proven useful and interesting, though we have to be careful how much we tell some of them.