Janine's Story
posted Oct 26, 2006

I have spent most of my life caring for other people’s children. Babysitting through middle and high school, working as a nanny through undergraduate and graduate school and finally becoming an elementary school teacher. I always wanted children, and when I became engaged to a former pre-school teacher, I knew I had met the man I wanted to raise MANY children with.

And then we hit a brick wall…

The day after I accepted his proposal I was rushed to the hospital with acute abdominal pain. A cyst was found on my right ovary and I had surgery three days later. The doctor found stage 4 endometriosis with severe damage to both ovaries. We moved our wedding up a year so we could start “trying” and I did a 6-month cycle of Lupron.

Two years and six IUIs later I was ready to try IVF. Unfortunately, my FSH was in the thirties and I was told the chance of me conceiving with my own eggs was miniscule. I was 28 years old and I thought my heart had broken.

When the doctor first mentioned egg donation I cringed. This was not how it was supposed to be. We talked about adoption, but I worried that I would always regret not fulfilling my dream of carrying a child. Two months later we were matched with a donor. Once we went forward I did not look back. We were successful on the first try.

One thing I want to point out is that those of us that use donor eggs ARE the biological mothers. These children are made of our flesh and blood. We are not the genetic mothers, and should not expect carbon copies of ourselves (although I am told often that my daughter looks just like me), but every time a child is created it is a roll of the dice. I guess using donor eggs just means that one of the dice is missing some dots.

My twins are approaching their fourth birthday. They are my children. They have my quirks. We are in the process of adopting a sister for them from China. There are many ways to grow a family.