Fertility Musings, Questions & Answers and News

Articles...

2008-06-23T02:44:00.000-07:00

Juanne Fuller discusses her feelings after discovering she has fibroids.

Interesting article about infertility in Nigeria.

Lastly - an article about hospitals in Great Britain who are denying IVF treatment to smokers.

Socialized medicine in some countries has led to extensive research regarding single embryo transfer - as a way of reducing the incidence of twins and higher-order multiples and along with that, the long-term medical costs that often follow premature birth. It makes sense to me that socialized medicine has different boundaries. What do you think?

Moving on...

2008-06-15T05:00:00.000-07:00

When I started this blog, I hoped it would be a way for me to manage the tens of questions I was getting each week from readers of FertilityStories. I kind of got into the blogging, wrote about things that were on my mind, posted infertility news when it came up and wrote about infertility research I'd read. I met more infertility bloggers than I can count, some even in real life :-) and I plan to continue to keep up with all of your stories.

In terms of the questions, Yedda's helped me get them under control and many other people are able to answer them and give a much fuller picture than I ever could on my own.

I'll continue to post here, especially news and the results of my research (if I ever get the OK from the ethics committee), but I've opened a new blog that reflects where I am in my life now much more than this one does. I just don't live and breathe infertility anymore.

Thank you all so much for having been with me. I appreciate all of your comments, ideas and thoughts.

We have a winner!

2008-06-15T02:46:00.001-07:00

Congratulations, Anita :-)

And the background, to anyone who was curious, is a passport.

Passports are a frequent topic of conversation around here - we're getting everything together so that I can go to...To anyone else who is going, I'd love to meet up with you! Leave me a comment and I'll be happy to get in touch.

Murano to whom?

2008-06-13T05:31:00.000-07:00

Following is a poll - vote for who should get the earrings.

Thanks!

Giveaway #2 - a treat

2008-06-08T00:45:00.000-07:00

This week's giveaway is Murano earrings, handmade in Peru.

Last summer, Hadas and I imported jewelry and we participated in a fair (selling jewelry) at the end of the summer. We've still got quite a lot of beautiful things.

To participate, leave a comment by Wednesday saying one of the things that made/makes your 2 week wait more tolerable.

Guess what the background is & get a free Murano bracelet too.

Great news!

2008-06-05T23:45:00.001-07:00

Well, there are some people who are hiding great news, but I just read this.

(Actually, Tertia updated the post and now it does reveal the news. Perhaps this is the same news as Karen's, I'm not sure...)

Congratulations!

Or maybe not

2008-06-05T11:57:00.001-07:00

No need to vote this week, our winner is Minerva Jane (please send me your address so I can get them out to you).

When I was going for IVF*, I bought myself a present for each cycle - something that I would get to keep even if the cycle failed. Once it was a pocketbook I loved, another time it was a set of sheets... things I didn't really need.

Anyway, from the emails I got, it seems that pregnancy tests aren't the most appealing thing to win, especially since many of my readers don't seem to need them at this time. So... next week it's going to be Murano earrings - handmade in Peru & absolutely beautiful (a picture will appear in the post either tomorrow or on Sunday).

More interesting?

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*Matan and Lilach, my IVF-FET twins are turning 12 tomorrow! Happy birthday!!!

Yirmi & the paper towel roll

2008-06-04T12:26:00.000-07:00

Yea, a strange name for a post, I know... but you'll soon see why.

Yirmi is soooo cute. Now that he's really close to 3 months, I'm happy to say that I got a baby without colic! I don't think any of the others were as easygoing as he's been so far.

He reaches for objects and laughs!

He loves playing on the mat and sometimes just wants me to put him down so he can play some more.

His outfit is from my ex-SIL who sent over a huge bag of things for him! I love the colors and I think she's pretty cool for being so sweet right after the divorce.

My sister gave me a CD, which I had sitting on the counter and I saw it reflecting the light onto the paper towel roll & got out my camera. (I'm weird, I know.)

OK, time for my weekly dose of Law & Order :-)

Unbelievable Ectopic

2008-06-02T02:14:00.000-07:00

If you haven't read this story about an ectopic pregnancy that went to term, do.

The baby went to 38 weeks and was born weighing 6lbs 3oz, despite implanting in her mother's ovary.

Unbelievable!

Giveaway #1

2008-06-01T01:00:00.000-07:00

Guess what? A set of 10 pregnancy test strips is up for grabs (shipping included).

Want it? All you have to do is leave a comment on this post by Wednesday - include how many tests is the most you use(d) during a single two-week-wait. Also feel free to add why you really want to get them...

On Thursday, I'll put up a poll & let everyone vote for the winner who'll be announced next Sunday.

Good luck!
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Who needs free peesticks?

2008-05-30T04:00:00.000-07:00

As part of my search for a new direction for this blog, I have been trying to think of a way to give something to women who are out there and still waiting to conceive... So this is what I've come up with so far - starting this Sunday, each week I'll put up a new blog post announcing a new giveaway. Anyone who wants a chance to get 10 free pregnancy tests can leave a comment by Wednesday.

On Thursday, I'll put up a poll allowing everyone to choose who'll win.

On Sunday (a week after the original post), I'll announce the winner who will get 10 pregnancy test strips sent to her address for free - shipping included, of course. She'll have to contact me to give me her address (though I'll happily send an email, if I have the email address).

I'm allowing sponsorships too - if there's more than one per week, I'll give out that number of sets of free pregnancy tests (see the sponsorship link on the sidebar).

Are OPKs as appealing?

Blog morph

2008-05-26T04:33:00.001-07:00

I've on the verge of a blog morph... Any suggestions as to directions I could take this blog would be greatly appreciated.

For now, I leave you with this clip we made for Ohad's birthday, with Abigail singing "Alligators All Around".

I almost forgot - a HUGE congratulations to Aurelia whose baby was born last night after a very scary birth.

Blogged down

2008-05-22T03:44:00.000-07:00

Or bogged down... whatever...

I've thought about some interesting things I want to write - the use of lipiodol in women with endometriosis, another take on secondary infertility (or maybe infertility in general). But I never quite get to it.

Ohad's birthday, on the other hand, wouldn't wait and... since it's tomorrow and I am out of ideas (as usual) I did this (click the play button to watch it):

I heard about Scrapblog when I was a BlogHer last year and finally tried it. It's not terribly fast or easy to make something like this, but their user interface is fairly intuitive (though some things just didn't work for me) and it does everything I expected it to do and more. If you like these things, it's worth a try - all you have to bring is your own pictures (or hey, download other people's pictures if you want ;-))

Mother's Day

2008-05-11T01:31:00.000-07:00

I think Erin said it perfectly...

I won't be celebrating for two reasons - one is that in Israel they both celebrate sometime in February (I never remember when) and they've switched it to "family day" and the second is that even if there were a Mother's Day in Israel, my kids would definitely forget. They sort-of-remembered-after-being-reminded that my birthday was yesterday... (and even that just means that they said the words "happy birthday").

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In blogosphere news, my mom sent me over to plan-b. For those of you who haven't followed their story (I did, but at some point I stopped reading), they had a really unique surrogacy experience, with a known surrogate who co-blogged with the intended parents. Go check it out :-)

I haven't had a chance to mention Doc Grumbles - she was at the top of my mental list of "most likely to succeed soon" infertility bloggers and is newly pregnant :-)

Happy 60!

2008-05-07T11:48:00.000-07:00

Today's Israel's 60th Independence Day.

We just came back from watching the fireworks (I sat in the car holding Yirmi, but I think I had the absolute best view in the whole city). Wow. I love fireworks...

This afternoon, we got everyone together for some pictures, wearing our Israel 60 t-shirts - first just the kids... (yes, even Yirmi had a t-shirt):

and then everybody... This is our first family picture with Yirmi :-)

Happy Independence Day!

Moaning & groaning

2008-05-01T00:09:00.000-07:00

I have the lovely pleasure of meeting with the court social worker & my ex once again today. A new report has been at the top of the news in Israel during the past few days - including the recommendation that mothers not be automatically awarded custody of children under 6 (which has been the standard so far). I am sure that in many cases, this is the right thing, but I can't imagine how much more I would have had to give up if my ex had tried to get custody of my kids and actually had a chance. As it was, I gave up a lot (financially) just to get out. I think that there needs to be some sort of labeling for abusive partners so that their ex-spouses don't have to continue to go through hell with them just because everyone naturally assumes they're decent human beings. I mean, the fact that the social worker thinks it's fine for me to have to have my ex agree to the kids going to the scouts - in writing - before he has to pay for it is insane. He doesn't want to pay for anything, therefore he just won't agree. How smart do you have to be to understand that???

It also made me really mad that my ex showed Lilach a piece of blank paper with the bank's logo on it as 'proof' that he has no money. I think it's really slimy to try to take advantage of the fact that he thinks she's not very smart. (She's much smarter than he thinks. She came home right away to ask me if that really means anything or not. I assured her that it does not.)

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Here are some pictures from yesterday:

Yirmi loves being on this blanket and he bats at things - not deliberately, but it's a start...

Nomi, holding the license plate Hadas found and plans to put in her new dorm. Check out her orange shoes...

Ohad and Yirmi in the garden. I love to see them together :-)

Guest Entry - Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act

2008-04-29T12:38:00.001-07:00

I was asked to help raise awareness about a petition regarding legislation about postpartum depression & am copy-pasting from the letter I received from Susan Dowd Stone:

I am writing to ask that you post the following link on your websites. It is an online petition to support passage of The Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act. A companion bill passed in the House of Representatives last fall to a nearly unanimous bipartisan vote! Democratic Senators Obama and Clinton both support this legislation along with Republican Senators including Olympia Snowe of Maine. Please help us gain our target goal of 100,000 signatures for this petition.

After just one week, we have generated 10,000 and the petition will remain active throughout May, during which time it will be marked up for review. This bill calls for research to help determine the etiology and best treatments for perinatal mood disorders which will affect 800,000 women next year... and this figure does NOT include women whose babies are stillborn, miscarriage or other vulnerabilities such as adoptive parents, single parents.. stakeholders for this legislation are anyone who has ever been a mother or a child!!

We Need Your Help Now! We Must Speak Out in Full Support of Postpartum Depression (PPD) Legislation NOW.

Click here to connect and be counted!

Articles & information about PPD after infertility

Review: The Real Deal Guide to Pregnancy

2008-04-29T02:53:00.000-07:00

I received a copy of The Real Deal Guide to Pregnancy by Erika Lenkert which I offered to review.

In a word: Refreshing.

In a sentence: A colorful, fun, magazine-style book for the pregnant woman and her partner.

Erika Lenkert is a writer who decided to write the pregnancy book that she wanted to read while she was pregnant. The book focuses almost exclusively on the mom and her experience (and not on the baby & its development). It's refreshing in that it's really easy reading, broken up into small chunks; no topic goes on for too long. The design of the book is colorful and appealing, with nice (not cutesy) illustrations and typography (though the font they chose for the book is way-too-small for my eyes, which made me wonder if they were trying to say I'm too old to be reading it). Once I put on my reading glasses, I was drawn into the book and found myself turning the pages eagerly, waiting for the surprise on the next page. In addition to her own experience, Erika had 111 moms fill out a survey and she includes their feedback throughout the book. An OB-GYN reviewed the medical information.

Things I liked (in addition to those already mentioned):

Nice sections for the dad-t0-be, including tips on understanding his partner.

No avoided topics - sex during pregnancy, hemmorhoids, moodiness - it's all there.

Survey results like, "Top 10 Cravings" and "Creepiest Moments".

Recipes - e.g., Avocado Cream Pie & Tortilla Soup.

Tips about maternity clothes, including the fact that you're likely to be wearing them well after the birth.

Links & recommendations for sites, shops & books.

Things I didn't like:

Statements like, "It feels like an instant Charlie horse and fortunately goes away rather quickly." (about leg cramps). This seemed to be too much of a generalization based on her own experience. I had terrible-horrible leg cramps in my calf, in the front and the side of my lower leg. I had them going up my entire leg. Sometimes they lasted 10 minutes and longer & were intensely painful. Sometimes I had them in both legs simultaneously. (There were not many of these, just the ones there were really annoyed me. Another example is "Shopping is depressing". I loved buying maternity clothes...)

Use of terms like "Leaky Faucet" for urinary leaking and "Scary-olas" for the changes in the areolas. Personally, I prefer grown-up talk...

Erika claims to minimize the list of things you need for a new baby and some people might actually want to buy all the things on her list, but trust me, nothing happens if you don't have a changing table, a rocking chair and a bottle sterilizer (to mention just a few). After her introduction, I was disappointed not to find a "bare minimum" list. (I also never used a nasal aspirator and have no clue why you'd need 2.)

Overall, I'd say it's light reading, interesting and informative, with a lively, modern design. The Real Deal Guide to Pregnancy is a book a pregnant woman would enjoy having even if she already has a stack of pregnancy books, because it really is different.

17 trips to the mailbox...

2008-04-22T04:33:00.000-07:00

I didn't actually count, but there were many. Just about every 15 minutes, since we were waiting for the letter... And, finally, it arrived.

Hadas was accepted to IASA - Israel Arts & Science Academy!

I'm so happy for her, but it means that in September, she'll be moving to Jerusalem and I already know how much I'll miss her... and, whereas other kids go home every-other-weekend or so, she will only be coming here half of those weekends, because on the others she'll go to her dad's house... Fortunately, he lives nearby (walking distance), so I'm sure I'll get to see her a little on those weekends too. Right?

I'm sure this is an incredible opportunity for her :-) I can't wait to hear about her experiences there.

My oven's an imposter

2008-04-17T12:27:00.000-07:00

My oven's temperature gauge is designed like a speedometer. You know how the speedometer goes up to say... 140mph and your car, even with the perfect tires, road & weather conditions could maybe get to 110? My oven claims to go up to 250 (celsius) but if you actually put it on that setting, it heats to a certain point and then blows a fuse (or whatever it is). Fortunately, it revives itself after a while. Anyway, this year I was clever enough not to repeat the mistake of previous years and the oven is behaving nicely. (I just hope it reads my blog and appreciates the fact that I'm writing about it.)

This Passover stuff is just way too stressful. I mean, when else would you bite off someone's head for putting something down on the table? (Maybe when you just ate sandwiches on the table and the 'thing' that someone was holding was a box of matza...) Fortunately, it's almost over. Unfortunately, being a vegetarian makes it a challenge for Ohad. In addition to not eating anything with flour but matza, we also don't eat anything with corn, beans, rice, green beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, etc... so it kind of limits his diet. Even worse is the fact that some people do consider these kosher for Passover, so they're sprinkled in everything. It makes shopping, even in Israel, in a kosher supermarket, a really annoying experience.

For a break (from the cleaning) I got up-to-date with as many blogs as I could... and I stole this from Rachel:

85 words

Speed test

My dad encouraged me to learn touch-typing during the summer between 9th and 10th grade. He was doing a post-doctoral program at Harvard (in ethics) and needed someone to type his papers. He not only paid for the course, he later paid me to type his papers... it was a good deal :-) I think his feeling was that no matter what I did in the future, knowing how to type would always give me something to fall back on. I enjoyed the course so much the first year that I went back and took another course the following summer.

Congrats to Ahuva Batya who just got a piece of GREAT news :-)

And happy Passover to all those who are celebrating!

Can you tell I'm in love?

2008-04-14T11:56:00.000-07:00

He may not be the best person to take shopping, but he already likes to play... He seems to have gotten so big so fast - he's just over 5 weeks old(!)

I'm busy trying to prepare for Passover (which I think should be switched to every-other-year or maybe only leap years?) and am especially thankful that I was smart enough to buy an apartment within walking distance of my parents, allowing me to have all the comforts of home yet still celebrate the Seder with them.

Our boiler (is that what they call them in English?) is short-circuiting the house again. This is at least the 6th time since we moved in less than 3 years ago (probably more). At least we also have solar panels that heat the water - otherwise we'd be showering in cold water (yuck!). In Hebrew we call the boiler a "dood", so the dood dude is coming by tomorrow morning to hopefully fix it...

In other news, Hadas is finishing the last part of the process to be accepted to the high school she wants (wanted?) to go to in Jerusalem tomorrow. It meant spending 3 days and 2 nights in the dorms, taking classes and exams and having social activities. She said it's not at all what she expected and she needs to rethink whether she wants to go there or not. I'm cool with whatever she decides... (though I do think it would be an amazing opportunity for her if she did get in and chose to go there).

I think he likes having a little brother

2008-04-13T04:36:00.000-07:00

Today I spent the day with my two boys :-)

Matan certainly waited long enough to finally have a little brother. I think he's pretty happy about it :-)

When it rains...

2008-04-10T08:18:00.000-07:00

It actually doesn't rain here much during this season. In fact, it won't rain much until October. We may get another rainy day here or there even as late as June, but the summer here is day after day of hot, rainless weather (I'd say dry, but it does get pretty humid, making the heat even less bearable). But, actually, that wasn't what I was talking about anyway...

Ohad sent me an SMS last night saying "You won't believe what I won." (I knew he was at the Microsoft party.) My best guess was the 4GB disk-on-key he was planning to buy when he got home (just because when my mom had 'wished for' an IPOD, she won one at a conference she was at). It turned out Ohad had won the top prize at a Microsoft party (at the CHI2008 conference he's at in Florence) - an xbox 360! Needless to say, the kids are pretty excited. I wasn't planning to tell them, but Matan guessed too well - it was his 2nd guess (after a laptop), so I gave in and told them...

And then, at 3:17, after having hit the refresh button about 493 times in the past 4 days, I got the email that was sent at 3:14 saying that Ohad's other paper (one was rejected) was accepted for the conference in Amsterdam. I was so excited that I jumped just as high as Matan had when he heard about the xbox :-)

Ohad's on his way home & that is the best news of all.

Tidbits

2008-04-09T03:40:00.000-07:00

One of Ohad's papers was rejected and we still haven't gotten news about the second one... I actually wrote them to ask what is happening with the answer and they said it would take another few days (they were 2 different types of papers, so maybe that's why the answers are on different days). We have already been to Amsterdam together once (on our 'family honeymoon' in summer 2004) & I'm sure we'll go again someday, even if it isn't this year.

My MIL is upset that I told her it isn't convenient for her to come over in the middle of the day tomorrow when I'm alone with 6 kids, all of whom have a variety of things I need to do for them, including helping them prepare for a show they're appearing in in the evening. She may also have forgotten the fact that in addition to caring for my kids during the day, I'm not sleeping that much (combine night feedings with night sweats - not great). I felt it would just be too much chaos... She told me that I'm "keeping her from seeing her grandchildren..." I offered Friday (once Ohad comes back) but they only want to come here on the train (and not drive), so that wouldn't allow them to stay long enough. It's not like they didn't know I was pregnant when they booked their trip to China that left 10 days after Yirmi was born...

Yirmi is up 2lbs from his birthweight. He nurses so well that I haven't been worried at all.

Ohad is up in Giotto's bell tower now. I have to admit - I'm not even jealous, I'm just looking forward to seeing the pictures when he gets home.

Ten things you might not know about me

2008-04-07T02:49:00.000-07:00

I sing. I even took voice lessons for a while. My teacher thought I should sing opera, which I was willing to try, but never did. I am too shy to sing in front of anyone but Ohad & the kids, so you'll probably never hear me unless you stand outside my window.

At the world premiere of the movie Genocide (1981 or 1982), I was responsible for being with former US President, Jimmy Carter, while we waited for everything to be ready. I spent 15 or 20 minutes with him during which I asked several questions including whether he got bored of attending events like that. He replied that he really didn't mind. I was also part of a choir who met Menachem Begin in Plains, Georgia , when he came to meet with former President Jimmy Carter. I think we sang mostly in Hebrew...

I love spoons. I don't have that many, but I buy any interesting one I can find. I like to use all different spoons to serve with. I also have some long spoons and espresso spoons (at least that's what I call them). The most expensive one cost about $7.50 and has a pewter handle.

I was fascinated by the whole pregnancy-baby thing even as a child. My mom taught Lamaze classes and I loved looking at her materials. During the summer when I was 12, I did over 100 hours of volunteer work in the newborn nursery at the Army hospital in Fort Benning, Georgia - including things like dressing babies for the first time, changing diapers, wheeling thembabies to their mommies and encouraging them to breastfeed.

I once wrote a book that was published. It was about graphics software on PCs and although it's terribly outdated, the distinction between vector and bitmaps (which was the main point of the book) is still relevant. I even happened to be at a book fair once and saw my book at one of the stands (I took a picture).

My best friend from my childhood got addicted to drugs while we were still in high school. I only found out a few years later, because I moved to Israel after graduating early and we lost touch. She went through lots of bad stuff, spent some time in jail and, the last time I saw her she didn't even remind me of who she had been. We were best friends from the time I was about 7 or 8 & it was really hard for me to realize I had lost her as a friend forever.

I used to be addicted to coca cola. I would often drink 2 liters a day. I have now replaced that addiction with one to soda water (no calories, no caffeine...)

I used to be able to eat anything without gaining weight. Until I was about 20, people used to think I was anorexic. I didn't even realize I was thin... When I got married in 1989, I weighed 95lbs. I think I never knew I was thin because I always had to buy large sizes because I'm wide-boned. Even at 95lbs I couldn't wear size 6.

I confuse my kids' names all the time. It's not that I don't remember who they are, it's just that when I call them, the wrong name always comes out. Sometimes several times. Sometimes I accidentally call Matan "Ohad" or "Akiva" (my youngest brother). In addition, I have a terrible memory for both names and faces. Unless I know someone well, I find it hard to recognize them. This is particularly embarrassing when people clearly remember me and I have no clue who they are... This happens often.

I hate planning meals. I would rather clean toilets than plan meals. Before Ohad left for Florence (which I keep wanting to call Venice - I can't even keep my cities straight), we made a list of a bunch of different meals that I can prepare while he's away. If we hadn't, I'm not sure he'd have gotten on the plane (evil grin).

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We should find out today if Ohad's paper was accepted for the conference in Amsterdam. If it is accepted, we're going to try to work it out so I can join him (with Yirmi, of course). The only problem is that it's right at the beginning of the school year... on the other hand, the older kids can just be with their father for a few days.