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Alex's Story
“Hi. My name is Alex and I am an
egg donor.”
Sounds like the line people use when introducing themselves
to support groups, doesn’t it? But actually I
am just a regular (if overscheduled) college student:
a full-time employee, full-time student, and full-time
mother of twins who just happened to answer one of those
ads you find in the pages of college newspapers. For
those that don’t know exactly what an egg
donor does: I help couples who are unable to conceive
using their own eggs by donating my own. Each family’s
situation is different, with special circumstances and
demands. These families come from all different parts
of the world and all different cultures. Some are American;
others come from overseas, where fertility laws are
stuck in the Dark Ages. Some couples are all-male, some
are all-female and others are traditional married couples;
but all have a common dream: to have a child to love,
cherish, and raise.
I became an egg donor only last year at age 24, and
so far have already helped two families give birth.
I must admit that I became an egg donor as the result
of being in a financial disaster -- and the $5,000 fee
provided the needed assistance to hoist myself out of
the hole I had dug.
I have taken several psychology and child development
classes and am familiar with infertility issues and
science-assisted reproduction, so I decided to give
it a shot and do some research on becoming an egg donor.
Once I felt I had found the right agency, I mustered
up the courage to apply and wait to see what happened
from there. The application process was fairly painless:
questions about my health, ancestry, hobbies and goals.
I also participated in a psychological evaluation to
insure that, yes, I was mentally sane and healthy, and
had the intended parents’ best interest at heart.
| Not too long after, I received the first email
of many that would change the rest of my life,
as well as those of others. It was Karen of Beverly
Hills-based Fertility Miracles, emailing to inform
me that I had been matched with a family who were
interested in me and wondering if I would consider
working with them.
I must say, at first I was surprised -- and kind
of flattered -- that a couple foresaw their future
family coming from my genetic material. I agreed
to become their egg donor and was actually excited
to start the process of doctor appointments and
medication. Fertility Miracles was great to work
with, and though there were tedious legalities
to get out of the way, afterward I had the green
light to begin prepping my body for the procedure
to take place. |
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This mainly consisted of taking daily injections –
a terrifying prospect. I hate needles, but am lucky
enough to work with a diabetic who injects herself daily
with insulin. She agreed to play doctor for me, so on
the morning of my first shot, I squeezed my eyes tight,
grabbed the heck out of a friend’s arm, and stood
still for my injection. After it was all said and done,
I said “Is that it?”
I’m pretty much over my fear of needles, have
been an egg donor twice and am currently in the process
of another donation. To help give life to a family is
an incredible feeling that’s tough to describe
without seeming cheesy or maudlin. More than the financial
reward, it made me feel righteously proud – a
feeling that intensified when I heard that my first
family gave birth to twin girls.
Just recently, upon finalizing my third family to work
with, I actually had the pleasure of meeting the intended
mother. At first I was quite nervous and unsure of what
to expect, but once she walked in the room, all my insecurities
went out the window. This woman, so full of warmth and
personality and character, told me about the horrible
experiences she had faced previously, and the pain and
agony she endured with each failure. She was warm and
welcoming, friendly, and funny. She already had everything
she would need to become a mother, except for the one
thing that I could provide.
Now when I speak about my experiences as an egg donor,
I am proud to share my story. Yes, the money is still
an important benefit, but now I find myself very involved
in the process and actually excited each time I have
the opportunity to help. I am eager to find new families
who need my assistance in creating their family. And
so when people ask me why I am an egg donor, I respond
back, “Why aren’t you?”
My name is Alex. And I am an egg donor.
(Mother of 5-year-old twins and a student in Northern
California)
You might also be interested in:
Egg donation stories
Donor thoughts - donors,
recipients and children born as a result of donation
discuss their feelings
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